It's Almost "Go" Time!

Hello Family and Friends!

This post could be overly long and I am going to try to prevent that from happening. So much has happened.

I have been back to U of M twice since I last posted. At my ob/gyn appointment last week the PA thought she noticed an irregularity for which I had an ultrasound on Monday. To tell you that wondering and waiting for the results was excruciating does not even touch what I was feeling. Remember my fight with anxiety? Well let me tell you it was 5 days (and nights) of not much sleep, barely eating.  I spent a lot of time talking with God, trying to understand and to accept His plan for my life. For those of you who advise "just to relax" or "try not to worry", it's just not that easy for me. I plan to keep trying but it is a struggle for me.  And, yes, everything is alright and the transplant is a go!

We met with my transplant Dr. on Monday and he explained that palliative care is an option for me. My prognosis is poor, although predicting the future is never exact he said I could expect to live another 1-2 years with comfort care.  If I were 80 that would, perhaps be a rational choice for me. With transplant the Dr. is seeking "curative" as my end result.  Whether or not that is what happens is up to the Lord and His plan for my life. There is nothing inside of me that is telling me the transplant is not a good option for me. In fact at every step of the way I feel the Lord whispering in my ear, "see Peggy, they made it, you go for it!"

I cannot tell you how your emails and FB messages come at just the right time.  When my spirits sinks, there you are with words of love and encouragement!  Den and I met a couple in the waiting room on Monday.  They are over a year from his transplant and even though they have had some rough spots in their journey they were so excited for us. They viewed his transplant as a miracle and were so excited for my opportunity for life. Their enthusiasm was quite contagious and just what we needed.  You see?  Again and again the Lord speaking to us, through you, encouraging, uplifting, loving and comforting both of us.

Then came yesterday and what a day that was.  Our dear, dear friends Helen and Rob Bell planned a "Dedication" service for me. We had 20 some friends and family here to pray over me.  Our new teaching pastor at Mars annointed me with oil and everyone laid hands on me and prayed. Other friends and family were praying from their homes. Words could never describe what that has done for my soul. I don't think I ever understood what an army of prayer warriors could be before but I do now! I feel so lifted up and carried by all of you.  How does a person ever fully express gratitude and appreciation for so much love and concern?  My heart is so full it is overflowing and I am not sure it will ever stop in my lifetime.  Over and over, again and again, thank you for your love and friendship. I am pretty sure I don't deserve all the love I have been given, but do any of us "deserve"  the love and grace we have been given?  I understand more fully spiritual truths that I had head knowledge of but not always heart knowledge.

Now I am busy getting ready for the trip. You know, the cleaning, the laundry and all that comes with leaving home for 3months.  I am loving every minute of it, just enjoying home and all the comforts.  It will be a great day when we drive back into the driveway come January, God willing!

For those of you in the GR area please don't forget the swabbing event for the National Bone Marrow Registry. It is at Grandville HS 4-7, October 23. It is free unless you desire to make a contribution.  Please know I would never ask any of you to do something that is too hard or dangerous. Educate yourself to know how easy it is to save a life.

Prayer requests?  For my donor, for her health and that she is excited for her part in giving me a second chance at life.
For Den and myself to stay healthy. He seems to feel as though he is getting a cold.  We can't have that.
For our girls, that they are comforted and held up through this process.
That I withstand my chemo.  Please pray for my eating.  That already is a bit of a struggle for me. It has been a life long battle for me to eat when under stress and that does not seem to have changed. 
Last but least that my body accepts my donors stem cells....even more....that my body LOVES her stem cells and is gracious to them!

"But now says the Lord, He who created you, O Jacob, He who created you, O Israel: 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you:
I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire, you shall not be burned.
And the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior"!  Amen and Amen   (thanks Wynn!)

My Love to All,  Peggy